Let me start out by saying I’ve never written a blog or ever had a desire to read blogs, until now. As a matter of fact, this opportunity literally just jumped into my lap; therefore, I’ve decided to embrace it and see where it goes. I am not a pastor, minister, or anything of the sort. I am just someone on a journey to seek answers and this blog is a reflection of some of my most intimate thoughts, questions & feelings regarding God. When beginning a new journey, it's crucial to have an open mind, otherwise you can find all the answers and never get any “truth” from them. The mind you have right now has led you to a ton of questions, and if you seek the answers you must be open to the possibility that the way you currently think about something may change. A closed mind does not give room to learn, change or grow. We must enter into a place where we can see in a new light which brings new understanding. (Galatians 1:12 I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ.)
How many of us have prayed and asked God for something and not received what we asked for, which resulted in disappointment setting in? When we pray to God we are looking to see results and when don’t get what we wanted we become disappointed, lose faith and even become bitter. How many of us have experienced severe loss and not understood why it happened and have blamed God? How many of us pray everyday and may even do church on Sundays because it is what we are supposed to do? However, after years and years of disappointments and silence when we pray, we've stopped thinking that our words even reach God's ear. Now we pray and don't even expect to see results. Therefore, the question remains deep inside our hearts: God, where are you?
Somewhere in between the point of our prayers and what appears to be a total silence in response to them, we develop a distorted view of God and who He is. We hear of God’s goodness and all of the miracles and the healing’s that have taken place in the Bible right? His goodness is constantly beaten into us at church, and we hear all about God’s power but why haven’t we seen it? When people don’t see God’s power we begin to make excuses as to why something didn’t happen. We makes these excuses because they make us feel better about our disappointment.
Some, turn to science to explain the unexplainable, that way there is no room for a “God”. Therefore, giving their hurts and disappointments an explanation; which is, there is no God and the world is a cruel place.
Others, begin to develop their own doctrine and begin to makes excuses for why they don't hear or see God, they say “Well miracles are not for today they are from another era”. This theology makes them feel better, and their disappointment is now cushioned.
I can remember as a young girl sitting on my grandfather’s lap as he would tell me Bible stories. During those times I clearly remember that I NEVER questioned God, I just trusted and believed in Him with every part of my being.That is until I experienced my first disappointment with God, and from there the questions began. I had so many questions for God, I was torn in two and there was so much that I did not understand. It says in James 1:8 such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. That definitely hit the nail on the head and it was very evident in all that I did.
Regardless, of where you are in your life right now, we all have questions and desperately need answers. With that said, over the next several weeks we will embark on a journey to investigate our deepest most hidden thoughts, feelings,and ideas about God. So let’s begin our quest for the “Truth” and be rid of our double-mindedness. I would love for readers to respond with your questions and thoughts concerning God and in return I will do my best to address them.
Ashley McKlveen
